I've been YouTubing for a while now... just really following my intuition, which has been telling me to create videos on spiritual evolution and self-development. This has led me to question my own path of awakening to the truth and entirety of who and what I am: an eternal being inhabiting a human form. How did I awaken to this knowledge? How did I go from someone who was completely identified with my mind, to someone who felt an overpowering sense of connectedness to the Divine?
When I was a teenager I remember being overcome with obsessive thoughts. I didn't know how to differentiate between my thoughts and my Self. I would have to constantly tell myself comforting things in order to feel stable and in control. Little did I know... that I was feeding my highly unstable ego, not me at all, and not creating any sort of long lasting control or power.
It was after stumbling upon Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now" that I began to realize that I was not my thoughts... that I was a being far greater than my brain. I woke up to the truth of how the mind was a tool. A fragmented tool, but a useful tool nonetheless. I suddenly didn't have to identify with the thoughts in my head. After all, they were just thoughts, not me. I was a consciousness using the brain. I began to watch my thoughts and laugh at how silly some of them were. It started to dawn on me that all the suffering and pain I felt was because of my identification with the mind, with the ego. I knew that the pain I was experiencing could cease when I stopped this insane identification. I suddenly knew that I was exactly in the place I needed to be in for my own evolution and that denying the Now was not only insane but futile.